I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
