Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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