I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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