I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
