So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
