sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
