we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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