found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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