"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
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