yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
