I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How does it feel to date your dad?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
