hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just want nice things and good sex
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
