we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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