Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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