You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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