Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
