I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
