can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.