I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Blood and glitter go together right?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.