I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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