I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
