from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
