I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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