You don't have asthma, your pregnant
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
