hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
