when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
