I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
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The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
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The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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