Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
