1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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