She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You made out with two different species that night
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
