youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
