thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
