Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
