the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
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the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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