She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
