he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
