It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
