I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
