No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
