I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
