Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
