nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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