Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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