Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
