the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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