she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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