nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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