You really coming over, don't trick.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
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So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
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I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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