the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
