38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I just sharted jello shots
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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