My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
