I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize