I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
