he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
