There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
