i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
