So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
