Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
