i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
