omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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