I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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