Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
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I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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