butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
