I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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