Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize