why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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