dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
