she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
